Moving On is a form of Self-Care – E&OC

self care
moving on
self care

Moving On is a form of Self-Care

The first month of 2021 is done! What a rocker of a year already. I have moved houses, moved motivations, and am moving on. In many ways, I feel unstuck. There is always freedom is new adventures and a heady sense of what the fuck am I doing. The spectrum of emotions is completely expected and necessary. I realised through feeling it all that moving on is a form of self-care.

For this Eternally & Optimistically Coping blog, let’s divide life into three sections; career, love and wellness (emotional, physical, spiritual and mental health).


Well! Boy oh boy, have I just thrown myself into the deep end with my career. I’m starting from scratch completely unsatisfied with my current ‘job’. My studies are almost finished, and I estimate by March I’ll be able to start my new ‘job’. I am spending more time thinking about what ‘job’ will not be a job this time around. What can I do that I will wake up and be overjoyed by attending? Or, on the harsh days, won’t be horrendous to push through?

My career goal is to be content with work. My blog and social media, my Etsy store are all side hustles and creative outlets. What I want from my life is to advocate for others, to help people who aren’t able to speak for themselves. There is a saying that all Arab women are loud because they aren’t given the opportunity to talk. I agree, and I want to use my loud voice to overwhelm those abuse in all realms of life.

When I die, I want to be able to look back knowing that everything I sacrificed was worth it. I want to go wherever we go knowing that I healed myself and healed others by proxy. If I can do this, I believe I will find fulfilment. The tricky part of this, of course, is money. But I am working hard to not let money be a motivator in my decision. Instead, I am affirming that whatever I do will be so successful, the money flows. (I’ve really improved with my money blocks) (ching-ching-ching goes the money tree and every time it chings money comes to me).

I don’t think I’m scared of failing because I know that if I don’t try that will be the biggest failure. Moving on isn’t a failure, anyway. It’s self-care. My mantra for 2021 is to lean into fear. I am doing that. The worst thing that could happen is that I have to search for something else. Anything else is an upgrade from the unfulfillment of my present. Wow. The growth is chefs kiss impeccable.


My Angel Friend and I got together and consumed lovely food and alcoholic beverages. We both had realisations about love. Hers was that she was ready for love, and mine was that I was ready for a new love. But love does not just relate to someone else. Love is also all about the people I surround myself with. Most importantly, love is about the love I have for myself.

I watched a TikTok about closure only coming from within. I consolidated all my feelings about him, and I let it go. Everything about him belongs in the Universe’s hands now. For myself, I have to let it go. Whatever is intended for me will not miss me anyway. These realisations that I want and deserve more were beautiful. In this space of two days, I had absolved myself of all hurt. I let it go. Even though the odd angry moment comes about, it is outweighed by the readiness of the new. The self-care of moving forward is nice right now. When I meet someone, there will probably be feelings of fear, but I will lean into it just like my mantra.

The friends that I have around me are very much not who I thought would be. That’s all okay. The thing about friendships is that you are never under an obligation to someone else. Friendships are not committed relationships. They are everyday choices of companionship. So, I feel that I should only enjoy the company and not have anxiety about them. I question now, why should I invest in something that doesn’t return my affection?

These days I am also quickly frustrated at lack of accountability. I simply don’t have the energy to listen to excuses. My stance on apologies and forgiveness is well known. I am no longer willing to work on something half-assed. People go through things, and I know I can’t have expectations of others. So, the solution is to not interact, to let go and embrace moving forward. Thank you for the memories and the lessons, please be well.

Finally, my love for myself has blossomed so much. So much! Twenty-eight year old me is looking over younger me and is smiling with pride. I have come so far from charged negative thoughts to moving on with love and positive affirmations. It is glorious. Hi, my name is J.R. Sonder, and I love myself. I love it!


I think that in moving on in career and love is the best thing I can do for my overall wellness. These two aspects of life take up huge chunks and contribute to wellness. For example, I have been eating really badly, and my food choices affect me physically, which in turn affects my mental, emotional and spiritual health. Everything is connected.

The stress from moving on in career and being stagnant in love has really harmed my wellness. I don’t think a lot of people see that outwardly but I definitely feel it. So, in addressing those two areas, making choices of moving on is the best form of self-care. I am looking after myself, and so my wellness will improve.

That is not to say that I don’t still have some sad, frustrating days that have me scared out of my mind. I let myself experience all of those feelings, and I don’t crucify myself for them.

This morning I stayed in bed until 10 am. I am grateful for the freedom to do that, and I honoured my body for needing the break. What I love the most is that I am not stressing and rushing to get everything on my to-do list done. I am working at a content pace because even though everything is unknown, I am moving on.

Tea of the day – Dandelion Tea

Stay safe, be kind, and feel free to reach out below!

With love and eternal optimism,

J.R. Sonder

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