Pow! And the Tower Moment appears! – E&OC

tower moment
tower moment feel like
tower moment feel like

Pow! And the Tower Moment appears!

I think in the tarot community, the tower card and the prospect of a tower moment feels like panic. I believe in any sort of context, ‘tower’ is synonymous with panic. Whether right or wrong, a tower moment insights a host of emotions. The primary emotion being fear.

What is a tower moment? Well, AskAstrology.com says “In traditional teachings of tarot … the tower card represents a time where everything is falling apart. You might unexpectedly lose a job, or get dumped, or have a massive fall out with your family- something of this nature. You might feel at complete despair, completely lost and perhaps even depressed.”

There is a foreboding sense that something will go wrong. Most times, things do go wrong. Something just happens. That odd sense that it was meant to happen because you knew it was going to happen. 

I had a tower moment this week. To be more accurate, both of my parents did. They are both fine-ish. As fine as they can be for what has happened. But, what it highlighted is that no matter how much you run, or try to fix everything but what is wrong, the tower will come crashing down on you. 

Because it doesn’t matter how well you think you’re doing. The mind-body connection is powerful. It still amazes me when I come across people who don’t believe that there is a connection between the mind and body.

We are a whole unit, one functions on the health of the other. There is no way that we can detach one and function well without it. I’m not talking about limbs. I’m talking about the mind-body connection.

That is, the relationship between our mental health or illness and how it presents in our body—for example, stress. Sustained stress will have long term effects on the body. The most common organ it affects is the heart. It isn’t just that you weren’t eating well, or unable to get enough exercise in. Maybe you could do all those things. The heart condition could be a direct result of stress that was never dealt with. And that the person never learnt how to cope with it.

That is my parent’s tower moment. When I think about it, it wasn’t even me who had the tower moment. It was just them. My fear came from their tower moment. It is difficult to watch them shift back to the personalities of the past. Difficult to try and express myself but still have to censor myself, so aware that they are nowhere near capable of helping me with my fear.

Because even though I am their child, they are also children themselves in their capacity to respond to stress in a healthy manner. There is so much trauma in their relationship that I don’t think about it.

When I got home from seeing them, I had a mini-breakdown. I cried and cried and cried. Fear engulfed my whole body, and for the entire time I cried, I let myself be scared. I didn’t deny myself any of my feelings.

What they are facing is scary and filled with uncertainty, there is no promise that the outcome will be good. Just as there isn’t a promise that the outcome won’t be bad. They are in a limbo, and that limbo is a petrifying place for those who don’t do well with their thoughts.

But in all that, comes no responsibility on me. My parents have made choices for their lives, and while I don’t agree with them, it is not up to me to fix them. However, their tower moment leaves them, is not for me to stress about.

They don’t want my help. My parents are ready to help themselves, just like my friend in my E&OC post last week. They have no motivation for their own empowerment.

I can only observe and support when I can. So, I will no ruin my mind-body connection. 

On the other hand, the tower moment is a brilliant opportunity to turn things around. To start anew. We don’t always have to fear the tower moment in our lives. Just like a forest that has burnt to the ground, it will grow again. 

I think that if I were the me from before therapy, I would be inconsolable. I would be thinking with such a negative mind, stewing in self-pity. And while I might be entitled to doing so, I would still only be hurting myself.

Only I can make the decision to help myself. 

BTS released their new album BE a bit ago, their title track is called Life Goes On. j-hope’s lyric goes~

‘With the ‘annyeong’ [hello/goodbye informal] that we start and finish the day with

Let us thread tomorrow with today

Stopped for now, but don’t hide in the shadow

Only again, daylight will glow’

And it is true. ‘Stopped for now’ is the tower moment. In the song, it is the year 2020 and the pandemic—the world’s collective tower moment. But for us as individuals, that tower moment contrasts depending on our contexts.

Just as the j-hope sings, we shouldn’t hide in the shadow, we have to rise from the ashes. We have to hug the shadow tight, reassure it, and then step forward into the light.

I think the most important thing to remember is that tower moment is a lesson. In most cases, the tower moment is a repeated lesson. People fear that the tower moment will feel like a blindsided tragedy. 

That can happen. But, above all, tower moments present us with lessons to learn about how we respond to the tower. How do we cope with stress, fear, sadness? And how does it manifest in our body?

Are you able to recover? Can you process the moment, the emotions, and then begin the process of recovery? Or, are you burdened by the tower, repeating the same cycle and lesson? 

The tower moment will appear. That is life. How long are you going to let it keep you buried? You can’t stay at the bottom of the cliff. 

Tea of the day – Whiskey

Stay safe, be kind, and feel free to reach out below!

With love and eternal optimism, 

J.R. Sonder

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